Good day, G.O. readers!
I trust everyone has had a great week so far. I’m currently battling with putting down the Coke’s and Red Bulls for awhile, (three months is my goal, actually–though it wasn’t going so well earlier this week); other than that, I must say things have been okay. As promised in my last entry, this blog post is about personality ruts. Being a “psychology person” and also an observer of people, (and myself), in general, I’ve come to notice certain personality patterns in people. Here are just a few of the more common ones I’ve seen, (many of them from past clients):
One such personality pattern belongs to the “Poor Me” person. When dealing with these people, I find their primary story is, how nothing ever goes right for them. They’ve caught every tough break in life. They miss every opportunity. Everyone else always comes out on top–except them. No matter how hard they try, they just can’t get it right. Many times they no longer believe it’s even possible for things to get any better.
Another such personality pattern is “The Blamer“. These people are similar to the “Poor Me” people, but they are typically more angry and engage in more outer directed blaming behavior. They are the ones who tell the story of just how close they were to success, only to have had someone come along and snatch it right out from under them. It’s always their supervisor’s fault, some crappy co-worker, or their parents’ fault. It can even be the fault of the guy who was driving too slow in front of them or the fact they got they got their high school sweetheart pregnant, and “had” to miss out on college to get married and get a “real” job. They rarely see the role they play in their own circumstances.
Then there’s “The Fault Finder“. This is the person that will always find something wrong with everything. An opportunity can look promising for the most part, but eventually this person always picks each component apart until they find a reason why things won’t work out. Many times this person can also get lumped in with “Self Sabotager“. This is the person who frequently finds a way to mess things up for themselves, (whether consciously or unconsciously). I’ve run across quite a few of these people. You come up with potential ideas or suggestions that could really work to improve their situations, but there’s always some reason they’re coming back to you because something just wasn’t quite right; or they found a way drop the ball and lose out (once again).
Lastly, I want to give a special shout out to “The Talker“. These people usually lose potential opportunities (career or otherwise), because they just don’t know when to zip their lips. They can come to you for help, but barely let you get in a word edgewise. Most of the time, these people see themselves as victims of circumstance without realizing that many times they come across as obnoxious. I’ve seen many of these folks genuinely surprised that they never get beyond an interview or can’t get anywhere in the dating scene. Their downfall is mainly their mouths. In some cases, they may simply be nervous and unaware of their annoying habit, but either way, it’s painfully obvious to those left in a one-sided conversation with them, what the real problem is.
Now before I close this post, let me just say that this entry was not an exercise in condemnation. It was simply an observation. I’m aware that there can be a little bit of each one of these personality types in all of us, at any given moment. I also want to say, that there are many people who really did get a crappy deal in life or were badly mistreated; sometimes certain events in our lives really are someone else’s fault. There are those times when you should be picky and selective in making life decisions, and if something doesn’t smell right, be willing to walk away; and sometimes out of fear and insecurity, we’ll all sabotage something good from time to time (or say more than we need to). The issue is when you let these human tendencies morph into personality ruts. Have any of these personality patterns become your personal mantras most of the time? If so, you might be in a rut. If you find yourself in one, don’t beat yourself. Just by being aware of it, you’ve already taken a big step at changing. Be willing to closely examine your stories and search for the validity in them. Always look into the role you play in each of your life situations, and be willing to take responsibility. Remember, you are the author of your own story–so make sure it’s a great one.
Strive to be your best self today, and always…………
Girl October
