Greetings, G.O. readers!
Glad you guys could make it back for another blog post from Girl October. Today’s post ties in a bit with Thursday’s post on pettiness. Toward the end of that post, I briefly talked about pettiness that can come out of jealousy. Jealously frequently arises from comparisons. That’s the topic I gotta take to task today.
We all do it. Constantly compare our looks, bank accounts, life situations, and accomplishments, to other people we deem to be doing better than us. They got a fairer deal in life. She’s prettier. He’s taller. She’s skinnier. They’re richer. They don’t have as much debt. His clothes are nicer. They’re house is bigger. Why were they blessed, and not me? It’s not fair…yada, yada, yada, ad nauseum. We’ve all had these or some form of these thoughts flying around in our heads at one point or another. They’re largely useless unless we’re able to use them toward positive change. So how do we do that? Glad you asked. Time to have a talk with my alter ego, Queen G. Let me school you.
1. First off, sitting around making comparisons to other people is a waste of time. For one thing, we’re all originals. I’m never going to be Janet Jackson. I think she’s beautiful and talented, but God didn’t send me here to be her. We have different genetics, different upbringings, different opportunities, and different personalities. If God had wanted me to be her, He would have let me be born as her–but that clearly wasn’t my mission. So why would I waste my time trying to outdo her at being who she is, naturally? No one can be Janet Jackson, better than Janet Jackson; and in the same token, no one can be me, better than me. So why not just focus on being the best representative of myself, instead of an imitation of someone else? Because no matter how great I am at imitating someone else, it’s still just that—an imitation.
2. This brings us to my second point. I’m a walking billboard advertising myself. My actions, the way I take care of my body, my attitude, and how I show up in life in general, is my personal calling card, announcing to the world who I choose to be. All those things reflect my personal brand–the brand that is me. I can’t represent you, the way you can represent you. And you can’t represent me, the way I can represent me. Why not represent your own brand to the max? Dress how you like to dress. Read what you want to read. Learn what you want to learn. Invest in yourself. Take care of yourself. Find out what you really want out of life, and take up your own journey accordingly. Even if you don’t have it all together, it’s still better to show up as you not having it together, than you pretending to be someone else who you think has it all together.
3. Okay, point three. I want to be so focused on the good I wanna bring into my life and into the world, that I don’t have time to sit up and hate on anyone else. I want to be so committed to my vision and dreams, that what you’re doing hardly registers on my radar, (at least not in a “hateration” type way). I want to be so into building my brand and going hard for my own team, (which can be a literal team of people that love and support me, or it can just be me), that I can send good energy your way and truly want the best for you while you’re winning and building your own vision. I want to be able to cheer you on as you become great and really mean it, because I’m staying in my own lane, transforming my own vision.
4. Speaking of lanes…Stay in your own lane. God only gave you one race to run–and that’s your own. Think about it, when you’re running in a real race, you can only run it for yourself. Somebody else’s training and conditioning isn’t going to help you. You have to train and get conditioned, eat appropriately, and whatever else is needed, for yourself. Now granted in a real race, you are in competition with someone else, for the title of first place, but you still have to run it yourself. You can’t borrow someone else’s legs. You can’t piggy back off someone else’s efforts and natural strengths–unless we’re talking about relay racing, which is kind of a nice analogy for a better way to look at competition in general. We each put in the work to bring our best self to the part of the race we’re personally participating in, while we let the other people handle their own part of the race, and bring what they have to offer; with the end result being that each person comes with their A-game for the betterment of the whole team, (which in this case is humanity).
5. Because what I’ve said so far, might sound a little paradoxical, let me break it down. Each of us, individually does make up our own team–“team me”. How we choose to conduct ourselves and show up in life is a representation of our own personal brand; and because we’re all individuals and each of us has our own individual potentials, capabilities, looks, desires, dreams, tastes, and preferences, it makes no sense to be in competition with someone else. You would never win, because you can never be them. They may have strengths or natural abilities you lack. They may have a passion for something that looks awesome outwardly, but would bore you to tears. You’re limited to your own potential, capabilities, interests, etc. So why not work with what you were personally given and see how far you can go with what God has given you? Practice winning at being yourself. You can always do that.
On the flip side is, the fact that we’re all human and in that sense, we’re sometimes on shared teams with other humans, such as “Team Women’s Rights” or “Team Let’s End Homelessness”, or “Team Clean Water for Everyone”, etc. These shared teams are like being in a relay race. Each person brings his or her best, to the common effort of the team, in overcoming the opposition, (in whatever form that may be). Everyone’s unique gifts are honored and everyone’s effort and dedication is appreciated. No need for fighting within. Everyone pools their strengths for the common good. The stronger your teammate, the better. No jealousy at all.
So in review…
Be excited about your life. Be honored that you get to be you. Dedicated yourself to being the best you can be–not someone else. Be so focused on creating the best version of yourself, that there’s no time for jealousy or hate. On your road to being awesome, you become better and happier, and from that space you have enough to give to others to help them become better and happier. Represent yourself to the fullest. Bring your A-game; and when you’re on a shared team with others, do the same, so that you can all come together for the common good of your goal.
I hope you guys have an awesome remainder of your weekend. I spent a lot of yesterday working on the Girl October website–so it’s still coming, I promise. Until next time…
Peace and Love,
Girl October
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| A nice, relaxing drink, for a chill weekend… |