Greetings G.O. readers!
Thanks for checking out another post from Girl October. I’m hoping to have some recipe posts for you guys coming up soon, (not ones I’ve made up, but ones I want to try). I’ve been looking for some new things to cook; even though I really need to chill out right now, because I’m just now getting my eating habits back under control from the holidays.
Yes, I do realize it’s May. It’s just that the holidays get me spoiled because I allow myself to eat the foods I enjoy, and I end up getting used to doing that on the regular; so it takes me a few months to get myself to accept that I need to start eating sensibly again. It’s a process. I’m just glad my clothes are fitting looser again–speaking of which, the topic of things “fitting” is the subject of today’s post. Fitting, in this instance, however, will have nothing to do with clothing or weight, but clothing will provide a nice analogy for where I’m going.
Okay, so we all remember that favorite pair of jeans we used to have in high school or maybe ten years ago. We loved the way they fit at the time. They hugged us in just the right way. Not too tight, not too loose. Fast forward some years, and X amount of pounds later, and now we may not be able to pull those same jeans up past our thighs. What the heck happened? Life happened. Maybe we had a kid or two. Maybe we just got married and gained those “love pounds” that couples tend to gain. Maybe we work 70 hours a week, and it’s easier to come home and simply plop down on the couch with some takeout, because we feel too tired to cook, let alone exercise afterwards.
Either way, our beloved jeans, no longer fit. This analogy got me to thinking about how other situations in our lives can no longer be a good fit for us. Who’s to say we can’t outgrow relationships, career choices, friendships, or even spiritual practices, in the same way we can outgrow clothing?
Maybe you’ve been at your job for a certain amount of time, and you’re finding that it’s no longer fulfilling. In many cases, it never was fulfilling, (you know ladies, like those times you buy the gorgeous shoes in a size too small because they don’t have your size, or maybe you’re ashamed of your real shoe size, and want to pretend you wear smaller). Sometimes we accept jobs just for the money or because our parents think we’d be great at it, or for the prestige. Those situations are usually the ones where the job was never a good fit to begin with; and as for the instances where it did once fit well, things can change. Maybe the company is going in a different direction that doesn’t fit in with your values. Maybe you’re burned out and can’t stomach listening to one more customer complaint, or spend one more minute in a work culture that no longer says “you”.
Sometimes you and your spouse can find that you’ve both grown into different people and the marriage no longer fits for one or both of you. Sometimes you outgrow your friends too. The person you used to go partying with in your early 20’s may still be in “boogie mode” when you’re both now, in your 30’s. While your 30’s may have shaped you into becoming a responsible mom with a great career that requires you to not have a raging hangover all day on Sunday, your friend may still be hanging out in clubs, getting shit-faced every Friday and Saturday night. She no longer fits you. Or you no longer fit her. Same difference. Either way, it doesn’t work anymore.
Maybe even parts of yourself don’t mesh with other parts of you anymore. Like when “past you” has to step aside for “present or future you”. At one point you might have had some very limiting self-beliefs or the worst eating habits ever, and now you’re ready to be both mentally and physically in a better place. Who you were, no longer fits who you’re becoming. The person who cares about their health and wants to live to see their kids grow up, can no longer share a body with the person who only eats fried, greasy foods and drinks three, sugary, 2-Liter sodas a week. The person who wants a healthy mental life and does whatever it takes to make that happen, (through a therapist, life coach, prayer, self help books, or whatever), can no longer live the life of a person who makes excuses and still chooses to blame others for everything “wrong” in their life.
What people or situations are no longer a good fit for you? Did you outgrow them or did they outgrow you? In viewing our original analogy in a different way, sometimes things can go in the opposite direction–and we lose weight, making our clothes too big for us. Which people or situations became too big for you? Keep in mind, that just like us outgrowing other people and situations, isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it isn’t necessarily bad when other people or situations outgrow us. Sometimes it’s time for other people to go to the next level and we may not be in a space to go with them–sometimes we’re not meant to. Sometimes we have more work to do, to be up to task, and we must have a particular thing transition away from us, (as in a job, we just couldn’t keep up with anymore), or an opportunity we weren’t mature enough to take advantage of at the time. There are those times, we just aren’t ready. And that’s okay. Or we were only meant to be a temporary presence in someone else’s life, to prepare them for their next step. Either way, it’s all good.
The purpose of this post isn’t to provide answers on what to do if you feel you’ve outgrown a person or situation, (or the reverse), it’s simply to say, you don’t have to feel bad if you feel like that’s what’s going on in your life right now. I feel that way right now. It’s a part of life. We’re all constantly growing. Most adults can’t wear the same shoes they wore at 10 years old, nor should they expect to. It’s called growth. Twenty year old feet are no better or worse than ten year old feet. They just reflect two different phases of development. We’re all in a state of work in progress, constantly in a state of flux and self discovery. Don’t forget that. Most things don’t fit the same forever–and would we really want them to?
PS: If I discover some steps on what you can do if you find yourself in a feeling of “not fitting”, I’ll definitely do another post for us all!
Until next time,
Bless your October Soul–
Girl October
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| Do you like the fit of your life situations? |