Happy Wednesday, G.O. Readers!
I know I’ve been away for a lengthy period of time again, but I was in “margin and indent hell” while trying to put the final touches on my book. I don’t even want to think about gutter margins, page numbers, or indenting for a long time to come, (but of course, if I keep writing, I’ll have to); not to mention, just trying to get things together in general for the launch of my Kindle and paperback book. But at any rate, the dust has settled and both went on sale the 13th of April. Yay! I can breathe now, right? Still not quite, but such are the joys of being an author. I’m not complaining though–I’m thrilled. But enough about that.
Let’s talk about heroes…
Yesterday, while I was sitting in my car on my lunch break, (I know, I’m super-social, right?), I started thinking about how I can tend to categorize people as being either heroes or villains. When I feel like someone is treating, me unfairly or has an attitude, or is being a prick in general, I tend to see that person as a villain in my life. Sometimes that villain is a co-worker, or a stranger. Sometimes they’re a family member. Sometimes I see myself as the villain. When I make stupid decisions or am in a bad mood, or just being a little too human in a particular moment, I can feel very much like the villain in my own story. But of course, we spend most of our time giving others that role in our lives.
As my thinking along these lines continued, I thought about what would happen if we stopped focusing so much on other people’s “villainy”, and focused more on how we can be our own hero in a particular situation. This isn’t about making the other person right. Sometimes other people do treat us badly or act like dicks, but when we just focus on how rotten the other person is, it takes the focus away from our own personal power, and how we might be able to grow or change the situation for the better. Maybe you’re in a situation where someone you work with is being a jerk. The easiest thing to do, is to focus on everything that you perceive makes them a jerk. They’re rude. They’re inconsiderate. They’re loud. And then you get caught up in your story about how you hate dealing with this person, and how stupid they act, and why they make your work-life miserable.
When you come from the position of focusing on that person’s villainy, you lose the opportunity to step into your personal power by choosing to be your own hero. By being your own hero, you become an active participant in your own life, rather than just passively complaining about how others aren’t meeting your expectations. In the co-worker example, maybe being your own hero means that you set clear boundaries with this person, or see if you’ve misjudged them after all, and try to start over. Maybe it means, seeing if you can be moved to a different area in the office, or choosing not to have dealings with this person if it’s not work related. Maybe it means the job wasn’t a good fit for you anyway, so you decide to move on. You get to define what makes you, your own hero.
Who are you labeling a villain in your life right now? And how might things go better if you simply stepped to the plate and acted as a hero for yourself? Who are you putting blame on for the misery in your life? Whose fault is it, if something isn’t going right? Are you making someone a villain because they won’t be your personal hero? Are you expecting someone to do or be something for you, that you need to do or be for yourself? Just some questions to contemplate.
Which feels more powerful? Being the hero of your own story or going on a tirade about someone else’s villainy? You already know the answer. As the hero, there’s a certain amount of personal power you retain. You’re putting yourself in charge of your destiny. You’re depending on you to make things better. You’re taking action. By taking charge of your own experience and feelings, you pull power away from “the villain” and truly work on making positive change. How can I make this situation better or remove myself from it? Who would I rather spend my time with? Where would I rather be? What would I rather be doing? When am I going to make a move? When it comes to the business of being a hero, it is all about you! This is the perfect time to be selfish. You’re creating your own destiny.
So, change your focus! Their villainy may or may not change. You can’t control their actions. But you can control the moves you decide to make, and the view you decide to take. Break out those capes and fly! Let’s make a move.
Gods and Monsters coming up next post.
Until then,
Bless your October souls….
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| Take a cue, from Bat Girl–Be your own hero! |
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| Or be like Elasta-Girl–she’s not sweating the villain in this pic… |