Happy Tuesday!
Thanks for checking out another blog post from Girl October. After writing my last entry about heroes, I decided I wanted to expand on that subject a bit. In the last post, I talked about how many times, we turn other people into villains, and place our focus on how they’ve wronged us, or what a rotten person they allegedly are, and how by doing that, we give away our personal power to transform the situation; but by being the hero of our own stories, we free ourselves to stop being bound by other people’s attitudes and actions, and instead empower ourselves to change our circumstances for the better. Well, today’s post still examines what happens when we give away our personal power, but this time, not just to our perceived villains, but also to the “gods” we’ve built in our heads.
Whom have you made into gods?
What I mean by “gods” is, the people that we put onto pedestals. Who are those individuals that we perceive as being incapable of any wrong doing or letting us down? For most of us, our original “gods” were our parents. I know it seemed to me that the sun rose and set on my mother, when I was coming up. To me, she was everything. As a kid, I couldn’t see her as just a regular woman, who made mistakes. As I grew older, I found out differently, and was let down, in the process–which leads us to the question: What happens when the person you most admire shows their human side? What happens when they disappoint or hurt you? Just like with villains, we tend to place too much focus on our heroes as well–and with the same result–we end up giving away our personal power.
How many times have you placed too much trust in someone? We’ve all done it. How many times have you been blind to someone’s faults and shortcomings? Maybe you always viewed your spouse as the invincible, perfect partner–the one who always took care of business and got things handled; but what happens if that person ends up betraying you in some way? Let’s say, through adultery. And even worse, what if they create a child outside of the marriage, or infects you with a sexually transmitted disease? Imagine the disappointment, anger, and hurt you’d feel after having placed all your bets on this one person. Any spouse would feel these emotions anyway, but it would be even more devastating when you’ve viewed this person as a god throughout your whole relationship.
We can use another example where there was no wrong-doing on your spouse’s part. Let’s say that your spouse falls prey to a serious or terminal illness, (or was involved in a debilitating accident). Even in this situation, if you handed over all your personal power to this person, you can still feel lost when they’re no longer able to be the big-time hero you’ve propped them up to be. What does one do, when their hero has fallen?
Who do you admire or look up to the most? Your pastor? A professor? Your parent or spouse? A friend? Your boss or mentor? For some people, it can even be their child. Plenty of people get their identities wrapped up in how intelligent their children are, or how many sports their kids are good at, or what college they’ll attend. But what happens if your teenage daughter who was a straight A student, ends up getting pregnant, and has to drop out? What happens if your son who’d been super-smart all during elementary and middle school, now starts struggling in high school? What happens if your kid decides they’d rather be a bartender than go to medical school as you’d hoped? That’s not to say that there’s something wrong with wanting the best for your children–but have you elevated them into perfect gods? Are you living vicariously through them, depending on them to be the heroes in your life, instead of taking up the mantle and playing that role for yourself?
Let me wrap this up by saying, that I’m not anti-admiration. It’s cool to have people to look up to, and can actually be healthy; but be careful to not unwittingly give these people too much power in your life. Always be your own hero, at the end of the day. People are people. They’re fallible. They’re not gods. It’s okay to strive for certain traits and lifestyles that others have. It gives you something to shoot for; but always remember that you’ll ultimately arrive at greatness in your own way. It’s the only way you can, because you can never be someone else. Each of us has our own potential and light within us. Don’t overly elevate anyone above yourself. Do they possess some strengths that you don’t? Of course they do. But they also have personal weaknesses, as well–just as we have our own personal strengths and weaknesses.
We’re all human. Let’s encourage and strengthen each other. No gods, plural. Just one. Only He/It can be the ultimate hero for us all. So, save yourself the disappointment and heartache; and save other people the guilt and shame of not living up to your expectations. Never make gods out of men, (mankind in general). Just appreciate that there are some cool people out there who do some things and live their lives in an awesome way that you admire–but always know that you’re capable of doing the same, while running your own race.
Thanks for checking out another edition of Girl October.
For any of you interested, my new website is also up: https://www.jaslynjordyn.com/
Until next time,
Bless your October Souls…
