It’s that time of year again!
With November already almost half-way gone the pressure to find that perfect holiday gift (which may involve mad, frantic Thanksgiving or Black Friday crowds), begins to mount, causing the familiar “perfect-present anxiety.” I should know because I frequently find myself wanting to get everyone those perfect gifts that they’ll just gush over–Notice I said gifts, plural. I’ve been known to enjoy the challenge of trying to find everyone not just one gift they’ll love, but multiple gifts–and this has sometimes gotten my wallet and my feelings into some trouble.
When you come from a “quantity is king” type of mindset with your gift-giving, you can end up spending way too much on lackluster items that you can tell are just “meh” for the recipient, (hence, the hurt feelings). Why spend your hard-earned money needlessly on a crap-load of gifts that too often end up being hits and misses, (with the majority being misses)?
So, what’s the alternative?
Quality gifts. Quality gifts are those that the person really wants, needs, or can put to good use. Quality gift-giving is about putting what the person wants and needs above your desire to look impressive on Christmas morning with 100 boxes under the tree. It’s less about a bunch of filler gifts that serve only to amp up anticipation before you get to the “showstoppers”, and more about cutting out the fluff, by having fewer gifts that are all showstoppers.
Sidebar thought:
Many times we end up getting our loved ones that one gift that they really wanted or that thing we deem to be THE gift (the actual show-stopper). So, there’s nothing wrong with having some smaller gifts in between to heighten the excitement. I’ve done this for years with my family. Today’s topic is speaking on those times when you have a bunch of mediocre gifts in beforehand, just because a larger quantity makes you feel like you’ve done something.
Remember, despite the feeling that we’re accomplishing more by buying more, quantity isn’t always the best strategy. Sometimes less really is more. Why waste time spending your dough on things that will either get returned, “re-purposed,” or pushed to the back of a closet, never to see the light of day again?
What’s the point?
Just to say we got our kid seven gifts, (which consists of maybe two great ones and the rest just being mediocre or downright sucky)–because more is always better, right? Not necessarily.
So, what can we do?
I’m glad you asked…
Here are some of my suggestions for smart Black Friday shopping.
Have family and friends give you a list of some of things they really want for Christmas this year:
With a list in hand you don’t have to guess or hope you remember what they saw in that store five months ago. All you have to do is choose to buy any item from the list, knowing that you’ve made quality choices.
Wanted filler gifts are okay:
If the list you’ve received from a loved one has simple, less costly gifts such as socks or underwear on it, then by all means, buy these in addition to a more expensive item you might choose as a showstopper gift. In this case, you’re not just randomly buying extra stuff that you’re not even sure if they’ll like.
Aim for a “Cave Gift”
There were times I received certain gifts in my life that made me squeal with delight, barely able to wait to be able to go in my room (affectionately called my “cave”) to enjoy them. Cave gifts aren’t necessarily big and flashy, and don’t have to be expensive.
Sometimes cave gifts and showstopper gifts are the same thing. Sometimes they’re not. Many times my cave gifts were simply things like getting a CD I really wanted or the time my friend D, got me a hat with my nickname on it and a bottle of Heavenly Victoria’s Secret perfume.
Those gifts weren’t the most expensive gifts I received those years, but I really adored them and couldn’t wait to go off by myself and test them out. So, maybe your daughter’s cave gift is dollar store doll she’s always wanted or for your son, it’s a particular comic book. You get the picture. Remember something that would delight your recipient doesn’t have to always be the priciest thing.
Have your priorities straight:
If you have a very large family, it can quickly become too expensive to buy for everyone. In this case you could choose to only buy for your immediate family, (children, parents, spouse); or all the adults who’ll celebrate together could choose to pull names. That way, each person is only responsible for buying for one adult and the rest of the focus can just be on the kiddies.
Already have a clear plan in place before you go shopping:
If you aren’t able to get a list from your family members or friends, if you feel like you know their tastes, you can already have your own list of ideas for what you’d like to buy, written out and ready to go.
Ideally you should be thinking about this as early as October, but definitely by the time November comes around. Have a budget for each person you intend to buy for and already know what you’d like to buy.
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Know which stores have the items you need:
Research store opening times and prices before you hit the website or stand in the long lines. This ties in with number 4. Sites such as blackfriday.gottadeal.com can keep you informed ahead of time of what Black Friday sales each store will be offering. I use them every year so that I can make a list of which sale items I want to go after, well before Thanksgiving arises. Sign up for their emails to be notified when each store releases their sales ads.
Get the Thanksgiving day newspaper:
If you’re city is like mine, you should be able to go out early Thanksgiving morning and scoop up the newspaper from a gas station or a paper machine. Trust me–it’s a must have. Not only does it contain all the Black Friday ads, (for those who don’t look online ahead of time), it also provides all the coupons you need to take advantage of those special deals.
Stick to the list first:
Try to stick to your list. It’s okay to be flexible, but try not to be wooed by cheap prices alone. Just because one item is cheaper than something on your list, doesn’t mean you should switch them out. You may save a buck, but end up getting something the person doesn’t want. After you’ve stuck with your budget and got what you set out to get, if you have money left over and want to get some extra things just because, then go for it.
Opt for stocking-stuffers:
When your budget is tighter than you’d prefer, you can always stretch your purse strings with stocking-stuffers. Candies, lotions, lipglosses, phone cases, etc, are just some of the cute examples of items you can place in stockings. These items allow you to still have a way to give extra “gifts” without breaking the bank. Check out Ulta’s Five for $5 items for some inspiration: ulta.com.
Trust your gut:
Before you’re about to buy something, picture where that item will be in a month. You can do this with your children, as well as adults. There are some gifts that you might think would be really awesome for your loved one, but realistically, could end up broken or stashed on a shelf somewhere not long after you buy it.
Be cool.
When you find yourself getting stressed about this whole holiday shopping business, remember at the end of the day, perfection is not the goal. We don’t have to take things so seriously. The world won’t end if we don’t get Christmas just right.
It’s about expressing love toward and spending time with our families. No gift is going be perfect. Eventually even the gifts specifically asked for get replaced by the “newest best thing”.
I mean how many of us can really remember what we got for Christmas three years ago? Do we still actively use those gifts? Maybe. Maybe not. So keep in mind that it’s just stuff. Stuff comes and goes, and can be replaced. Our family and friends can’t. So live, love, and be merry.
Here’s to happy and safe shopping!
Until next time,
Bless your October Souls!